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Covert Narcissist: 6 Weird Habits

Dec 31, 2022

Something interesting happens first when you begin learning about covert narcissism and realize how closely it relates to your relationship.

Of course, you'll start feeling a lot of validation.

You may even be feeling like you are reading your entire relationship on the internet.

You might be thinking "Wait a minute, this person had a lot of strange habits, how many of them were related to narcissism?".

There are the obvious ones, like cheating, gaslighting, and so on. But then there are the odd ones that leave you scratching your head and thinking, "huh?"  This blog post is going to cover those strange habits of a covert narcissist. 

Before we get started, I'd like to state unequivocally that this is not a post that will assist you in identifying a covert narcissist. So you can look at these characteristics and see if you identify with all of them, one of them, or none of them.

That doesn't necessarily rule out the possibility of dealing with a covert narcissist.

On the other hand, if someone you're with exhibits one or two of these characteristics, it doesn't necessarily imply that they're a covert narcissist.

So these aren't distinguishing characteristics. They're just peculiar habits typical of the covert narcissist, and I believe you might be able to identify with at least one of them.

1. Gets Bored Easily 

This is a very common one, and you can see how the disorder influences the habit. As a result, they become bored quickly, and not just with their partners. They don't always like to sit around and do nothing, and they want to get shiny new things, but they quickly get bored with them. As a result, they may become obsessed with getting a new phone or a new car. You may notice they're obsessed with it for the first week, maybe even the first couple of days, and it's the best thing in the world. Then, before they know it, they're on to the next thing; they stop caring for the old thing because they're already on to the next. This can be how they treat people and their relationships as well. 

2. Lack of Humor 

Many covert narcissists lack a sense of humor. This could manifest in a variety of ways. As a result, the covert narcissist is far more likely than the overt narcissist to be socially awkward. As a result, they may be socially awkward. It's possible that they don't get jokes, or that their sense of humor is lacking. As a result, you'll notice that when they're out with other people or with you, they don't get the joke. And other covert narcissists, I suppose the more social ones, will appear to get the joke with friends, and they'll laugh when a friend tells a joke, but you could tell the same joke and get a stone-faced response. But what's interesting about that is that, when you think about yourself, what's funny is funny, but it suggests that the covert narcissist may be faking their sense of humor with their friends.

3. Very Private Person 

The covert narcissist is likely to be a very private person who will withhold information from you (I'm sure you've already discovered that). They will also keep friends and family at arm's length. It makes sense because the covert narcissist is more insecure, more outwardly insecure than the overt narcissist. And most of them can't stand having their friends and family witness the abuse that's going on behind the scenes. As a result, they'll keep a safe distance from them. Some of them have parents who lavish their attention on them when they are together. But, once again, it's common for that covert narcissist to keep friends and family, including that adoring parent, at arm's length. They're still in their lives, just not close enough to be abused or see the abuse that's going on.

4. Gossip 

They're going to gossip about their friends. This is something you'll probably notice pretty quickly. They might run into a really good friend with whom they spend a lot of time. And that person, as soon as they leave the room, begins telling you all of that person's dirty little secrets, as well as why that person is unstable, and all sorts of other things. It makes you wonder how they're even friends at all. Not all covert narcissists do this, and some do it only with certain people. And those who do it do so because they want to make a case against people close to them. So, if those people ever expose the narcissist, they've already begun to disparage that person. So it's a little easier to make that transition with their new friend group.

5. Porn Addiction 

Porn addiction is number five, and not all covert narcissists have one, and it is more common in men than in women, but it could go either way. So you might find a lot of porn on their computer, or they might be open about it and it's constant. It's a fixation, almost an addiction. And you'll find that male covert narcissist will sometimes develop erectile dysfunction as a result of their porn addiction.

6. Strange Relationship with Sex 

This is also extremely popular and can tie into number 5. Covert narcissists have a strange relationship with sex, so they'll either use it as a form of control or appear to be completely addicted to it. So, if they're using it as a form of control, they might withhold it in order to get you to change your behavior, or if they're on the other end of the spectrum. You'll know, but one thing you'll notice is that there is no such thing as an off-limits time. You could be grieving the loss of a loved one while attempting to manage the needs of the covert narcissist and avoiding the tantrum that will ensue if you say no.

So that's all I have for now. But I'm sure you have more, so tell me in the comments what strange habits the covert narcissist in your life exhibited. If you like content like this, be sure to subscribe to my Youtube Channel! I'll see you next time.

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